I really wish I could recommend this fic. It offers something interesting, changing the dynamics of Naruto in a unique way. It's a world where Naruto's parents still live, and Hinata's wound up the jinchuuriki of Konoha. The changes to the Hyuuga clan and what would happen to them if Hinata was the jinchuuriki, how Naruto's life would change, causes this fic to stand out.
Unfortunately, the story stands out in other ways that makes me ultimately not recommend this fic. Most of that is the character of Hinata herself.
The story is told from first-person, which by itself is not a bad thing. But this fic doesn't even take advantage of the format to show us Hinata's feelings or her lack of self-confidence. Hinata's POV does a lot of "telling" but very little "showing". In fact, it's difficult to tell how Hinata feels about anything, and what little we do find makes Hinata come off poorly and highly OOC.
The killer scene was in the Forest of Death, when Hinata detects Sasuke, Sakura, and Kiba battling against Orochimaru and debates telling her teammates about the assault. Ultimately, Hinata decides the fight is not her problem and opts to let Sasuke and the others fend for themselves. That is not in Hinata's nature. I doubt she will ever do anything like that at all, even in a changed reality where she is jinchuuriki. And Naruto and Shino are way too forgiving about this, Naruto in particular would do a "What the hell, hero?" over what Hinata pulled. Instead, Naruto far-too-easily forgives Hinata so the author can keep the Naru Hina OTP intact. I love Naru Hina but the kind of stuff pulled here just puts the story out of the realm of believability.
Coupled with mediocre grammar and spelling, a good concept just can't get off the ground. The fic is dead due to people ravaging the author about its similarities to the famous fic Team 8, but the similarities to Team 8 are the least of this fic's problems. In the end, we just know nothing about Hinata other than vaguely as a bit of a jerk.
FanficRecs Interesting concept derailed
I really wish I could recommend this fic. It offers something interesting, changing the dynamics of Naruto in a unique way. It's a world where Naruto's parents still live, and Hinata's wound up the jinchuuriki of Konoha. The changes to the Hyuuga clan and what would happen to them if Hinata was the jinchuuriki, how Naruto's life would change, causes this fic to stand out.
Unfortunately, the story stands out in other ways that makes me ultimately not recommend this fic. Most of that is the character of Hinata herself.
The story is told from first-person, which by itself is not a bad thing. But this fic doesn't even take advantage of the format to show us Hinata's feelings or her lack of self-confidence. Hinata's POV does a lot of "telling" but very little "showing". In fact, it's difficult to tell how Hinata feels about anything, and what little we do find makes Hinata come off poorly and highly OOC.
The killer scene was in the Forest of Death, when Hinata detects Sasuke, Sakura, and Kiba battling against Orochimaru and debates telling her teammates about the assault. Ultimately, Hinata decides the fight is not her problem and opts to let Sasuke and the others fend for themselves. That is not in Hinata's nature. I doubt she will ever do anything like that at all, even in a changed reality where she is jinchuuriki. And Naruto and Shino are way too forgiving about this, Naruto in particular would do a "What the hell, hero?" over what Hinata pulled. Instead, Naruto far-too-easily forgives Hinata so the author can keep the Naru Hina OTP intact. I love Naru Hina but the kind of stuff pulled here just puts the story out of the realm of believability.
Coupled with mediocre grammar and spelling, a good concept just can't get off the ground. The fic is dead due to people ravaging the author about its similarities to the famous fic Team 8, but the similarities to Team 8 are the least of this fic's problems. In the end, we just know nothing about Hinata other than vaguely as a bit of a jerk.